Dating behind parents back
It was time for my inner-city girl, wannabe journalist self to roam free. When she asked where he grew up, I said France, quickly choosing to edit out the part about Africa. I told her my relationship with Quinn was off and on. He graduated and found a sought-after desk job crunching numbers and salivating over spreadsheets.
After my fair share of empty make-out sessions on the weekends, I started fully embracing singlehood without much concern over finding a boyfriend. He cooked African cuisine and introduced me to plantains for dessert. Throughout my relationship with Qinisela, I lied by omission (the worst kind of lying, in my opinion) every time his name came up in conversation with my parents. I was running my student magazine, planning photo shoots and designing advertisements.
I could see the muscular definition in Qinisela’s arms and better inspect his sexy skin that was the color of my parent’s fears. But like every daughter of an Irishman knows, there’s a bit of truth to every sarcastic remark. They were everywhere — complimenting my dress on the street, asking to borrow a pen in class, and filling my beer at parties. But I drifted to anyone who was different from what I was used to.
Between water refills and a shared plate of quesadillas, we realized we had nothing in common. Throughout my time in North Philly, my dad’s harsh command never came up. I don’t believe my parents are racist, but they’re uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. It was time for my undergraduate liberal education to put me in a cultural blender and press puree on everything I thought I knew about religion, feminism, and race.
Maybe someday if I don't find somebody else ill meet up with her again.
At least I now live in the same town her parents lived in once.
There are lots of reasons why, I think, but the bottom line is that your parents care about you and want you to have the best shot at a love story.
The first involved age — no going on dates until I turned 16.
The second was about sex — no boys allowed in my bedroom. The only boys that ever saw where I slept were glossy ones I duct-taped to my bedroom walls from magazine cutouts. So did a third (and final) parental limitation on dating.
Your parents are very cool, so listen up, just be friends with him, get to know him, its always better than running into a guy, they can break your heart, they can mess up your future, so with your experience, coupled with as you describe it your insecurity, just be his friend.
I understand chemistry, you are going to want to go out with him, kiss him, hold his hands, and let your friends know to keep off, this is your guy, but if he really likes you, he will wait, because in another couple of years, mom and dad can hardly tell you what to do.
While it may seem like you're the only girl in the world whose parents are this strict, rest assured you are not alone in the parental oppression.